Star Trek lul

Let me start of by saying I'm not a fag, and so I havn't watched any Star Trek prior to this movie. Not one episode. This doesnt matter because I'm space rich and the film fucking rocked.

Being all manly I didnt cry during the films epic intro, which really lets you know that you're about to watch something special. I did NOT burst in to tears as Daddy Kirk sacrifices himself to save everyone aboard his ship including his wife who is busy pushing Kirk jr. out of her vahjeen. The acting really is solid, you'll notice this right from the start.

So basically the first part of the film details the origins of Captain James T. Kirk and Spock. Thats right bitches, Spock. Theres also some other fags involved, but these are the two main punks so get fucking used to it. Kirk's life story is basically how he gets beaten up by a bunch of fat kids then decides to join Star Fleet. Spock's life story is basically about how he gets bullied untill he nerdrages and beats some emo kids up. Then he joins Star fleet. Great.

From there on the story builds, and its generally pretty fucking solid, except for when its not. Of course Spock and Kirk seem to be raging at eachother alot for most of the film, which comes to a non-sexual climax when Spock maroons Kirk in a fit of EMORAGE. at this point it does start to derail and become horribly confusing due to multiple realities and alternate timelines. At this point you may become angry and confused, but dont worry, 20 minutes down the line its over and you can forget it ever happened, just like you can forget that time your uncle touched you in the bathing suit area. Yeah, I went there.

Naturally Kirk becomes Captain Kunt and him and spock become BFF, the crew become tighter than a prison gang full of niggers and they save the universe and some other homo shit.

The film itself isnt bad but I'm gonna criticise 2 things: 1 is the madly confusing and unesacary alternate reality bollocks that ate 20 minutes of my life, the other is Spock. Give this kid a razor-blade and some shitty emo music and he is fucking SET. Seriously he's such a faggot ass douchebag that I just wanna punch him in the face. With my foot.

8/10

"Punch him with my foot" LAWL

Snowman and myself ate a whole pan of weed brownies before going to the movies to see it.

Basically, we tripped balls the entire time and the movie sucked hard.

1/10 for shitty actors, shitty special effects, and shitty story line

Klaxxon wrote:

Let me start of by saying I'm not a fag, and so I havn't watched any Star Trek prior to this movie. Not one episode. This doesnt matter because I'm space rich and the film fucking rocked.

Being all manly I didnt cry during the films epic intro, which really lets you know that you're about to watch something special. I did NOT burst in to tears as Daddy Kirk sacrifices himself to save everyone aboard his ship including his wife who is busy pushing Kirk jr. out of her vahjeen. The acting really is solid, you'll notice this right from the start.

So basically the first part of the film details the origins of Captain James T. Kirk and Spock. Thats right bitches, Spock. Theres also some other fags involved, but these are the two main punks so get fucking used to it. Kirk's life story is basically how he gets beaten up by a bunch of fat kids then decides to join Star Fleet. Spock's life story is basically about how he gets bullied untill he nerdrages and beats some emo kids up. Then he joins Star fleet. Great.

From there on the story builds, and its generally pretty fucking solid, except for when its not. Of course Spock and Kirk seem to be raging at eachother alot for most of the film, which comes to a non-sexual climax when Spock maroons Kirk in a fit of EMORAGE. at this point it does start to derail and become horribly confusing due to multiple realities and alternate timelines. At this point you may become angry and confused, but dont worry, 20 minutes down the line its over and you can forget it ever happened, just like you can forget that time your uncle touched you in the bathing suit area. Yeah, I went there.

Naturally Kirk becomes Captain Kunt and him and spock become BFF, the crew become tighter than a prison gang full of niggers and they save the universe and some other homo shit.

The film itself isnt bad but I'm gonna criticise 2 things: 1 is the madly confusing and unesacary alternate reality bollocks that ate 20 minutes of my life, the other is Spock. Give this kid a razor-blade and some shitty emo music and he is fucking SET. Seriously he's such a faggot ass douchebag that I just wanna punch him in the face. With my foot.

8/10

NO way dude?

I lol'd.

But I totally agree with you Klaxx

star trek sucks balls the movie was cool but i wanted to see green titties and was denied...

bansauce wrote:

star trek sucks balls the movie was cool but i wanted to see green titties and was denied...

who had green titties?

that green chick near the start.

I'm not even going to watch this shit,
I hate Star Trek

GRANTO wrote:

I'm not even going to watch this shit,
I hate Star Trek

YA WAT GRANTO SAID STAR WARS FTW!!!!

me just likes the 80's star trek movies with the original staff

but ya STAR WARS 4TW

Well for a guy who watched the shows as i was young the movie was quite good. I would recommend to people who watched the show and not to the people who haven't.

8/10